No more lights

There was this odd sound yesterday.  It was a really loud pop, like those things people have on the fourth of July kind of pop.  Then all of a sudden all the lights went out.  I went down the road and there was a really large tree that fell onto some wires.  I always wondered what those wires in the sky were for, now I know!

Well apparently it needs to be up, those big sticks with the wires on them.  These guys came, cleaned up the mess, and put the wires back.  All night long it was really dark.  It was great!  none of the other cats could see me at all.  I think they should make it dark like that more often.  Why do the people want all the lights on so much of the time?  I saw them once bump into things when the lights were off, they are funny to watch.  

The turds

Lately  I find poop wherever I go, like on top of the air conditioner where I like to sit.  (It's as if it has followed me up there.)  I even found some on top of the car I like to sit on.  The car is in the garage so I can sit there as long as I want and I don't get wet when the water falls from the sky.

I've seen it in beds where I sleep and even near my food.  This poo is getting far to aggressive.  I'm afraid if I spend to much time blogging there will be a poo on the keyboard.  Won't that be a surprise to the next guy who wants to use this laptop!

I'm wondering if other cats are seeing this trend, could it be that poo just likes cats (I can't blame it.) and is therefore following us all around?  Or could it be part of a bigger plan to spy on us with poo drones?  I've heard of this new thing called the CIA or something like that, and they are all drones, or they all have drones.  I'm not sure which.  I still need to work on my English language skills.  I have serarched the web and still I can't find a good Meowglish to English translator online.  Any help would be appreciated.

Bloody Head

When I started blogging, who knew, a cat would have a blog!  So, I ask myself: now what?  There are so may things I could do besides sit around and wait for people to feed me or a mouse to walk by.  (I also sleep alot.)  Well, if I get a chance and I become a pirate my name will be bloody head.  That will be Captain bloody head to you land lubbers.

It's a name that will instill fear into all other pirate-cats.  Probably not as much fear as falling overboard or getting some sea mist on them, but still fear.  I fear no cat but they still try to attack me and I end up with these wounds.  These red badges of courage if you will.   I would go with bloody beard since beards seem popular among pirates but I can't really have a beard.  I could shave the rest of my head and then maybe I would appear to have a beard... now I may be on to something here.  

Now if only those other cats will just keep out of my territory I won't have to get into so many fights.  It makes me mad that they eat into my nap time.

The great Escape

They didn't think I could do it, but I got out.  I like to hang out in the cellar because with the dirt floor it is like one giant toilet to dig in.  I found a box that sometimes has drills and wrenches in it and I jumped up on it.  It doesn't dig so I didnt poop on it.  From on top of it though, I can jump up to the window in the cellar, the really old window with the loose window panes.

Eventually I knocked one out and I fit right through!  Now I just ask someone to let me down in the cellar whenever I want to go outside.  I just meow and bang on the window when I want to come back in and they let me in.  I don't think they even realize I was outside.  Outside I pee on everything because I want all the other cats to smell my pee.

Now I'm concerned though because I think it's time for my visit to the "vet" as they keep saying.  It looks like a doctor to me but they always say "vet".  Hmm These guys seem nice but they are always sticking me with a needle or some kind of strange instrument.  It's very exhausting.

Chopping it off

The other day I got to go outside again.  There is this long string that follows me around now when I am outsde and I have to wear this thing that wraps around me.  I heard someone say it was a harness.  I had a horrible experience with the harness.  The other day, after putting it on the guy carried me into the bathroom and gave me some catnip.  That part was good.  Then after that he lifted me with this thing on and put me in a big vat of water and my feet were all wet!  I kept trying to climb out but the wall was slippery.  Then he dumped water all over me and rubbed me with this gooey stuff.  That stuff smells nice, and I was really clean afterwards, but  all that water was a nightmare!  It was a nightmare!  I had to lick myself for hours after that.

Anymeow, I'm talking about this dr visit.  I overheard them say the Dr was going to "chop it off" and I'm pretty sure they already did some kid of surgery down below.  I woke up from this deep sleep one time and there was definitely something missing, so now I am really worried.  What are they going to cut off next?

At least I have some new food they give me.  I'm really worried about this chopping.  What is happening, I'm a cat, I need these parts.  Oh wait a minute.... I think I smell some catnip.

I found a box

I love boxes.