The Invisible Intruder

  I jumped to the window bed and I looked all over the yard; I ran down and looked out the downstairs window, I ran to the back door and said a Meewoow, and finally I ran to the front door and someone let me on the porch.  Still I can't see the cat!

  I know there is a cat.  I keep looking at that white fuzzy stuff and I see the feet prints.  This intruder is on my turf, what if this cat comes in and pees near my food?  It must have tracked me by the smell of my turds.  I keep trying to bury them, but the ground inside here is hard and I can't dig into it to cover up my mess.  Sometimes I come back and they are just gone though so my digging must be working so of course I keep it up.  I'm scared of this crazy cat.  I keep running around and looking and it isn't even there, just foot prints.  I'm beginning to think it is invisible.  Can invisible cats walk through walls?  I dont' know what to do, but if this is my last blot post you know what happened?

No!  I did not pee on the laptop; I mean the invisible cat got to me.  This is exhausting.  I am going to sleep.

fuzzy white stuff

 There is always this cold air now on the porch and  it is not nice.   Once I saw a bottle smash out there from the ice!  The good thing is there is none of that fuzzy white stuff on the porch.  I walked in that the other day and it was deep and cold.  There is this one person here and she is really nice.  Like when I come in from the porch this guy likes to pick me up, and that is warm to get picked up after you come in form that frozen wind tunnel, but this other person lets me sleep on her lap.

 This other person though, I think she does not like the cold parts either.  The house is much warmer than the porch (I think it is some kind of magic) but she sits in this warm place and still she has blankets.  That is awesome because she lets me sit on the blankets.  The other people just let me sit on my chair or a big thing they sometimes put their feet on.

 This other person, she is nice to let me lay down on the blankets because they are warm.  Sometimes she even lets me go outside.  It is some other kind of magic she has that lets me go outside, but when I run too far I get stopped and when I hide in a bush she can pull me out.  It is nice to get outside, but that fuzzy white stuff really makes walking outside cold.  When my feet sink into it there is this hard clear stuff at the bottom that is really cold and slippery.  I did not see any mice either; I think they also do not like the white stuff that is all over the ground.  I have seen the smaller people they are like the kittens of people, and they squeeze the white stuff and then throw it.  I got hit once; it was not fun.

Cover Yourself

 I know there are other animals out there just trying to track me down.  I can't be alone in this though, so you should make sure you watch your back also.  They can call track you down by the odor of your urine.  That, I think, is how they follow me.  The only thing keeping me alive is my keen ablilty to cover my pee to hide the smell.  It's so much easier when you are outdoors because there is so much avaliable like, dirt, rocks, sticks, dead plants and weeds.  These all make good covers for your pee.  Here inside where they have me trapped I have to be more resourceful.

 For example, when you drop a poop you can try really hard to dig and cover it up even if it is on a ceramic tile (who knows you might get lucky one day).  Otherwise you can just keep moving on and pretend it's not yours.  Just the other day I peed on the floor and decided to grab a magnet off a door and drag it over top of my pee.  The people here figure it out, but I don't think they are predators.  They even give me food, which is nice.  Another trick I love is to go right to the litter box (toilet) and dig there.  I think it works really well even though the poop or pee is actually nowhere near the box.

 These people here are really helping me survive in this regard. Today one of them picked me up when I came in from the porch; I peed on his shirt.  He went right in the other room, took it off, and put on a different shirt just to keep my location conceled from all the other preadators out there that might want to get me.  Although I really have never seen any other animals in the house here, you can never be too safe.  So, remember to be resourceful and find things to cover your tracks with.  I have even found the hair of a barbie doll works well at covering pee.  Trust me.  Hah, I'm a cat and I rhymed!  Meow Meow, beef comes from a cow! Ha!  I hate to stop here when I'm just on a roll but nature is calling!

Escape from alcatraz

I know there is a way out.  I see the people go in and out.  I even see cats out there.  They let me out the front door all the time which is exciting but then I am on the porch!  Sometimes it is really, really cold out there on the porch, but I am sure outside will be warmer.  I will figure all this out and you will all see.  I'm still not sure what alcatraz is but I saw something called escape from alcatraz on Netflix.

I'm not sure what Neftlix is either.

I just want to go outside again, from there I can begin to get back to my original plan.  I will have to tell you more about that later.  I heard them say I could go outside again after I have my tail removed.  I don't know what they mean but I hope it happens soon.  I'm sure that is not too important, especially since I will find a way to escape from alcatraz before then.  I can see the outside from the porch so there must be a way to get there but every time I go towards the outside I bump into this thing (they call it a screen).  So I give up and I go back inside.

Next I stare at the other door and they let me down to the cellar.  I don't know if they realize the cellar has a dirt floor, so I am digging.  I  see a pipe there that makes a noise whenever people poop.  I think that must get to the outside.  It saw something like that also on Netflix.  It's called The Shawshank redemption.  so I dig in the cellar and then I give up so I go back inside and sleep.

Don't tell them I figured out how to watch Netflix, whatever that means.

Cold as a Vortex!?

Man it is really cold out there, on the porch I mean.  I heard some people say something about a vortex.  I don't know what a vortex is or what temperature a vortex is normally, but the porch is real cold!  I think it has turned my turds into rocks.  I really need to find a way to make a sling shot.  Watch out people I'm armed now!

I think I almost left some skid marks on the floor running in from the porch the other night (no pun intended). This must be the coldest winter on record.  Of course my record  is only three winters long.  I am confused about where all this soft white stuff comes from.  How is a cat suppose to walk around on top of it?  I remember one Winter when I kept falling through it and finding myself deep under this fluffy white mess.  There's one thing I don't have to worry about on the porch.

This could be the end of the world, what if it is another ice age!  I want to thank you all for reading my great observances of life but I'm afraid we may be cut short if it doesn't start warming up soon!

Ok  now I'm going to scratch somthing or sleep.  Maybe I should eat first.  I have toys.

My Favorite Toilet

Lately I am staring at the door to the porch and it won't open.  Even if I stare at it for a long time and then meow.  Once it did and when I went out it was really cold so I didn't stay long.  The thing is that the porch is my favorite toilet.

Where am I supposed to poop now!

There is this thing in one room that is like a picture but the picture changes.  Once it looked like some cats but when I ran over to it, I could see that it was a picture because the cats were all flat.  There is some guy on that thing and he helps cats.  He is called Jackson Galaxy.  Maybe he knows about all this crazy nonsense that I have to put up with.  He may be the only person that knows about cats I think.

I was sleeping one day and I had a dream about poop (this is really getting crazy).  When I woke up there was a poop next to me!  I just rolled over and went back to sleep, but when I woke up it was not there.  I think I am losing my mind, but I don't remember.  So I want to go to the porch and dig in the poop box but I don't know where the poop went.  I'm going crazy here.