The great Escape

They didn't think I could do it, but I got out.  I like to hang out in the cellar because with the dirt floor it is like one giant toilet to dig in.  I found a box that sometimes has drills and wrenches in it and I jumped up on it.  It doesn't dig so I didnt poop on it.  From on top of it though, I can jump up to the window in the cellar, the really old window with the loose window panes.

Eventually I knocked one out and I fit right through!  Now I just ask someone to let me down in the cellar whenever I want to go outside.  I just meow and bang on the window when I want to come back in and they let me in.  I don't think they even realize I was outside.  Outside I pee on everything because I want all the other cats to smell my pee.

Now I'm concerned though because I think it's time for my visit to the "vet" as they keep saying.  It looks like a doctor to me but they always say "vet".  Hmm These guys seem nice but they are always sticking me with a needle or some kind of strange instrument.  It's very exhausting.

Chopping it off

The other day I got to go outside again.  There is this long string that follows me around now when I am outsde and I have to wear this thing that wraps around me.  I heard someone say it was a harness.  I had a horrible experience with the harness.  The other day, after putting it on the guy carried me into the bathroom and gave me some catnip.  That part was good.  Then after that he lifted me with this thing on and put me in a big vat of water and my feet were all wet!  I kept trying to climb out but the wall was slippery.  Then he dumped water all over me and rubbed me with this gooey stuff.  That stuff smells nice, and I was really clean afterwards, but  all that water was a nightmare!  It was a nightmare!  I had to lick myself for hours after that.

Anymeow, I'm talking about this dr visit.  I overheard them say the Dr was going to "chop it off" and I'm pretty sure they already did some kid of surgery down below.  I woke up from this deep sleep one time and there was definitely something missing, so now I am really worried.  What are they going to cut off next?

At least I have some new food they give me.  I'm really worried about this chopping.  What is happening, I'm a cat, I need these parts.  Oh wait a minute.... I think I smell some catnip.

Escape from alcatraz

I know there is a way out.  I see the people go in and out.  I even see cats out there.  They let me out the front door all the time which is exciting but then I am on the porch!  Sometimes it is really, really cold out there on the porch, but I am sure outside will be warmer.  I will figure all this out and you will all see.  I'm still not sure what alcatraz is but I saw something called escape from alcatraz on Netflix.

I'm not sure what Neftlix is either.

I just want to go outside again, from there I can begin to get back to my original plan.  I will have to tell you more about that later.  I heard them say I could go outside again after I have my tail removed.  I don't know what they mean but I hope it happens soon.  I'm sure that is not too important, especially since I will find a way to escape from alcatraz before then.  I can see the outside from the porch so there must be a way to get there but every time I go towards the outside I bump into this thing (they call it a screen).  So I give up and I go back inside.

Next I stare at the other door and they let me down to the cellar.  I don't know if they realize the cellar has a dirt floor, so I am digging.  I  see a pipe there that makes a noise whenever people poop.  I think that must get to the outside.  It saw something like that also on Netflix.  It's called The Shawshank redemption.  so I dig in the cellar and then I give up so I go back inside and sleep.

Don't tell them I figured out how to watch Netflix, whatever that means.