Stand up for your cat rights

I saw this article on the thing I type on with the keys here, it was about mercury in vaccines.  I think it's all a big distraction.  Did I tell you I killed a mouse?  Holy moly that was awesome.  Anyhow, I think it's a distraction, right?  They want me to worry about mercury?  What the hell is mercury anyway?  See.. now I'm off on this tangent like they wanted!

The real story is how they are trying to take over the cat world with the secret undisclosed ingredients in the vaccine while they send you out to worry about some weird thing called mercury.  I want in that little box today and they took me to the office with the soft table and they injected me.  Now what is happening?  I just cannot say. Just think about it.  you will see, before long they will think they are in contorol.  It's all about them taking over the cat world so they can dominate the earth.

But back to the real story, so I took the mouse after it stopped fighting me and I left it in front of the door, but now it is gone.  What?  Did they take it in for eating?  I saw them eating breakfast.  Oh man I hope they liked it because I really wanted to finish that one.  I'm going out to get another one while I still have the rights to be a cat.   Remember cats, stand up for your rights don't let them tell you about this mercury nonsense.

Chopping it off

The other day I got to go outside again.  There is this long string that follows me around now when I am outsde and I have to wear this thing that wraps around me.  I heard someone say it was a harness.  I had a horrible experience with the harness.  The other day, after putting it on the guy carried me into the bathroom and gave me some catnip.  That part was good.  Then after that he lifted me with this thing on and put me in a big vat of water and my feet were all wet!  I kept trying to climb out but the wall was slippery.  Then he dumped water all over me and rubbed me with this gooey stuff.  That stuff smells nice, and I was really clean afterwards, but  all that water was a nightmare!  It was a nightmare!  I had to lick myself for hours after that.

Anymeow, I'm talking about this dr visit.  I overheard them say the Dr was going to "chop it off" and I'm pretty sure they already did some kid of surgery down below.  I woke up from this deep sleep one time and there was definitely something missing, so now I am really worried.  What are they going to cut off next?

At least I have some new food they give me.  I'm really worried about this chopping.  What is happening, I'm a cat, I need these parts.  Oh wait a minute.... I think I smell some catnip.