Cold as a Vortex!?

Man it is really cold out there, on the porch I mean.  I heard some people say something about a vortex.  I don't know what a vortex is or what temperature a vortex is normally, but the porch is real cold!  I think it has turned my turds into rocks.  I really need to find a way to make a sling shot.  Watch out people I'm armed now!

I think I almost left some skid marks on the floor running in from the porch the other night (no pun intended). This must be the coldest winter on record.  Of course my record  is only three winters long.  I am confused about where all this soft white stuff comes from.  How is a cat suppose to walk around on top of it?  I remember one Winter when I kept falling through it and finding myself deep under this fluffy white mess.  There's one thing I don't have to worry about on the porch.

This could be the end of the world, what if it is another ice age!  I want to thank you all for reading my great observances of life but I'm afraid we may be cut short if it doesn't start warming up soon!

Ok  now I'm going to scratch somthing or sleep.  Maybe I should eat first.  I have toys.

pictures

I see all these 'selfie' pictures.  I need to find out how to make one.  The mirrors are so high up.
This is my food:

I can pick from two foods every day!  I still miss digging in the sewer for something to eat though.  After this I had to clean up, the camera fell in the bowl.  I hope I got all the turkey out.  I hate the water here, inside the water is so clear.  Now they put some of these hard round things from the dirt in there and I love it:

I love rocks and dirt.  I was outside  one time and got a bad break on my tail.  Now they don't let me out any more.  They let me go on the porch.  But I am getting better, now I can pee all by myself!  I just pee everywhere now!  Tomorrow I will try a "Selfie".

once I peed on a barbie.