Taking over my house

Can you believe this?  I used to be in this house just myself, well me and the bipeds.  Now there is a big gigantic cat here.  I waited to see if he would disappear.  He has been here for a while now. I feel like I am the better cat though because I can just go out when I want and go anywhere.  He has to go out on this rope attached to him that a person holds so he cannot go far, and he only goes out at certain times.  It is really terrible to imagine.  I am glad I get to walk wherever I want.

Then I catch this weird cat sometimes trying to eat my food.  If I don't finish eating its because I want to come back and eat the rest later!!!  This guest has to walk around attached to a rope when they take him ouside and he even has to sit when the people here tell him to. Seriously things are getting seriously weird here.

Stand up for your cat rights

I saw this article on the thing I type on with the keys here, it was about mercury in vaccines.  I think it's all a big distraction.  Did I tell you I killed a mouse?  Holy moly that was awesome.  Anyhow, I think it's a distraction, right?  They want me to worry about mercury?  What the hell is mercury anyway?  See.. now I'm off on this tangent like they wanted!

The real story is how they are trying to take over the cat world with the secret undisclosed ingredients in the vaccine while they send you out to worry about some weird thing called mercury.  I want in that little box today and they took me to the office with the soft table and they injected me.  Now what is happening?  I just cannot say. Just think about it.  you will see, before long they will think they are in contorol.  It's all about them taking over the cat world so they can dominate the earth.

But back to the real story, so I took the mouse after it stopped fighting me and I left it in front of the door, but now it is gone.  What?  Did they take it in for eating?  I saw them eating breakfast.  Oh man I hope they liked it because I really wanted to finish that one.  I'm going out to get another one while I still have the rights to be a cat.   Remember cats, stand up for your rights don't let them tell you about this mercury nonsense.

Snowed in

  I just can't believe that this snow is back.  I thought it was some weird storm we had once where the rain was broken, but it seems like it is every year now and it makes me go crazy.  I love to go out so I meow at the door and then when it opens up  there is just snow everywhere.  One day the door opened and the re was snow higher than my head.  Ive even waited for days and days but it is still there when I go back out!  Where is a cat supposed to poop?

I really thought that I was able to control all of these things but this snow is back and I think I am going to lose my mind.  I try to just sleep and I sleep and sleep and sleep and then I wake up and it is still out there!  I am losing my nerve.  Someone almost stepped on me the other day.  I don't know why they couldn't see me sitting there in the middle of the floor.  I saw this foot coming towards me so I grabbed it with my claws, and then guess what?  They threw me out in the snow!

This is my SOS to other cats out there, if you can read this and you are ok with no snow please send me a signal or something.  I feel like this might be the beginning of an ice age.  Is there hope out there?  How much sleep do I have to do before this goes away?

The red phantom red dot

It is doing the thing again.  I know this happened once before.  It is when the air is cold, and the water becomes hard and slippery that this always seems to start.  They bring a tree inside and light it up, and then one morning the throw colorful paper all around the room making a big mess (but it is fun to play with).  Then they all have new things.  I got some new treats but I am a little mad about it.  I mean they are just a new bag of the same treats I had before.  How about if someone gets me a live chicken to eat?  Something like that would be more exciting.

Then just at the same time as all this hoopla starts I begin seeing a red dot that moves around the floor quickly.  I notice I hear a slight clicking noise just before I see the red dot.  Then I found the people seem to be directing the dot with a pen.  What a silly game!  Still, as much as I think I know about this, I cannot stop looking at the red dot.  I am beginning to think that this red dot is coming for me and I must stop it before it starts eating my food.  I swear I have stomped my paw right on it at least a few times and as soon as I do it just disappears!  I could have killed it by now if it had been a mouse, but then after I stomp on it I hear a click and the red dot comes back.  I even saw it outside once.

Let me know if this sounds too crazy.  I can't believe that it exists, a dot that I can't kill and moves faster than me.  What kind of magic is this?  I can't wait until it is warm outside again.  I will see if I can prove what this is; I'm telling you it is real.  I will see if I can find a way of getting a picture of it.

No more lights

There was this odd sound yesterday.  It was a really loud pop, like those things people have on the fourth of July kind of pop.  Then all of a sudden all the lights went out.  I went down the road and there was a really large tree that fell onto some wires.  I always wondered what those wires in the sky were for, now I know!

Well apparently it needs to be up, those big sticks with the wires on them.  These guys came, cleaned up the mess, and put the wires back.  All night long it was really dark.  It was great!  none of the other cats could see me at all.  I think they should make it dark like that more often.  Why do the people want all the lights on so much of the time?  I saw them once bump into things when the lights were off, they are funny to watch.  

Those kids!

They think I'm an odd cat, but it's really them, they're weirdos!  And now I have proof.   I found, believe it or not, that my paws work on the ipad.  on the ipad I found this video evidence of how wacky those kids are!  Check it or man:

more Evidence:

What kind of person does this kind of thing to a cat?  It's insane.  Really is this what Steve Jobs invented that pad thing for?  I need to go get some catnip and calm down!

Insane!!

Cat on the hot asphalt Roof

If only it could have been a tin roof I would have been able to use a much catchier title.  Why does that feel so catchy to me anymeow?  I'm just not sure.  I feel like I've seen that in my web browsing before.  Sometimes you have a bad night and other times you have a really bad night.

I still do not understand how he entrance to the house works.  Sometimes I meow and it opens, sometimes I have to jump and hang on the window to get it to open.  When it is warm out there is a box that sticks out of the window and I have to sit on top of it to get the door to open.  When I'm inside the other side of the box blows cold air in.  Its always more comfortable inside especially since it doesn't rain in there.  Where was I ??  OK the entrance, then there are the times I scratch the entrance and it opens, and there are the bad nights when it just never opens. On those nights I sleep in the place where the cars go or I find some cats to fight with.

Well one night I found this quiet place that I like but then the entrance to another place opened and a big dog came out.  I ran up a tree because dogs can't go up that way.  I just followed the tree and I found out it goes to the top of a house and it was really quiet up there and there were no dogs so I kept going up and up.  Then I went down and down.  ( I heard someone once say what goes up must come down.)  Well I went down and I landed on a flat spot but I could not get back up the way I came down, and it was along way down.  I tried to sleep up there, but it is not very fluffy, and it gets worse when the sun comes up it gets really hot up there.  I meowed and meowed but I think everyone else was sleeping except the other cats.  They must have thought it was funny.  I saw them looking up at me.

Finally someone came out and saw me but they could not reach me.  They are not big enough to reach up there, and I kept meowing.  I heard some noise behind me and saw someone but then they left, they said it was too steep, I guess that was my problem too.  Then this metal thing came up and someone climbed up and grabbed me!  That was a relief until I saw over the edge (Its really far down!) I grabbed on tightly but that person really didn't like that.  I got down and ran away form that place, I don't like being up there.  Man stay away from trees!

Up there, on top of the porch, that's me.